It's all in my Head

Recently I required a referral from my doctor to a medical specialist - a neurologist to be precise. Long story but never volunteer to update your family medical history. It can lead to places you never thought you would go. Anyway, my doctor says she wants to schedule me for either a CAT scan or an MRI. She says the MRI is more accurate but could take a long time to get (the health care system being what it is). I think she's being an over achiever so I don't care how long the thing takes. I walk out the door and forget it. Just under two months later I'm lying on my back in a multi-million dollar tube wearing a Hannibal Lecter mask and thanking my stars that I'm not claustrophobic. Everyone kept asking me if I was and I didn't know - it had never come up before. I know I don't like being crowded by people so I was pretty sure that as long as there was no one else in there with me that I would be fine. Procedure over, post MRI consult - big gulp and a neurologist - from whom I receive a letter informing me of an appointment in three months - it copies me on the letter that was sent to the doctor in which the neurologist says (and yes I'm paraphrasing but the meaning is clear) "if you think this is too long to wait for your patient to see a neurologist then you should find yourself another neurologist who is not so bogged down in paper work that she doesn't have time to devote to patient care." Am I feeling good about this? Yes, I am and if you asked me why I'd have to say it's because my new neurologist believes that three months could be too long to wait. She's right, it is. Butit's much more reasonable the wait times that the fearmongers would have you believe. In the end, within the space of three months I've had two MRIs and one specialist appointment. One more month and I've seen two more neurologists and am scheduled for a third MRI and a fourth neurologist. I feel like the edical world is y friend.

Fighting off the Crazies

I bought a fan for my bedroom and I think it might be made out of papier mache; at least that's how much it weighs. Have I committed a socioecoglobalpoliticalethical crime by purchasing this fan? It came from a big box store, but it was a Canadian big box store so that's not as bad right? Could we make the same thing out of bamboo or gourds or something? We don't have to re-invent electricity, just build a better vessel for it. Something as cost effective and less flimsy. The thing has two pages of instructions, 2/3 of which is devoted to warnings, cautions and rules. Really, there are only 15 parts and 11 steps to assembling it but there are 16 Rules, 3 warnings and 2 cautions - in fact the whole thing sounds vaguely threatening. I wonder how many rules they began with and what lawsuit/insurance claim prompted them to write each one. I love "Repairs made by unqualified electricians will void this product's warranty." Like if this thing dies you'd call an electrician. More likely you'd put it in a yard sale - some smart ass will believe he can fix and buy it off you for a buck.

Two of the warnings - in bold mind you - have to do with never using any solid-state speed control device with the fan. While it's not strictly speaking a speed control device - it's much more than that - I'm wondering if my vibrator is solid-state? Wasn't solid-state the technological breakthrough of the 50's? Wait was that when batteries were invented....oh never mind.

The last two rules are my favourites - "15. Use this fan only as it is described in this manual." You would think that would cover pretty much every body's ass and they could stop there, but no, there is a number "16. Do not leave the fan running unattended." Sounds ominous. If I leave the room, are the fans going to start doing something they don't feel comfortable doing when I'm in the room? Are they the ones eating my ice cream? What does my fan do when I'm not here? I'm dying to know. Maybe I'll set up a nanny cam for my fan - a fanny cam. And on that note.

Vitamin D

So I'm researching foods with vitamin D and discover that it is the type of vitamin that needs processing and is meant to be 'activated' by sunlight - which means we really are plants!

My ideal man would be like a plant. Maybe a palm tree - tall and strong but flexible. I would really like it if he came with his own pot; even better is if he doesn't require a lot of attention. A guy who looks good indoors or out; a guy who won't get in my way. I don't care what my houseplants get up to during the day as long as they're around when I need them. That's pretty much all I ask of a man. Oh and decorative would be good but nothing flowering.